Let’s Party Until The Economy Fixes Itself!
When Chubby Checker implored us repeatedly to “do the Twist”, I am somehow not thinking he was referring to a macro-economic act of last resort where we essentially exchange an equivalent amount of short-term debt for longer-term debt. I think he wanted us to shake our asses in front of the opposite sex in the hopes of gaining their favor and eventually practicing the reproductive act.
Ever done a balance transfer from one credit card to another? Yeah. That’s basically what we’re doing. I believe this is the step right before begging one’s relatives for cash which is followed by reluctantly taking a loan out from your “friendly” local bookie/Amscot which inexorably leads to having your knees broken by said bookie/Amscot.
Yes. Amscot will break your knees. And by Amscot, I mean China.
A recent Federal Reserve study elucidated the fact that about 2.3 million homeowners could have refinanced last year had lending standards not been so strict or had they not owed more than the home is worth. You don’t say. Well I’ll be goll-derned. You mean to tell me that this whole mortgage situation would be better if people still had home equity? Man. I gotta get me some of THAT stuff.
Existing home sales jumped upwards 7.7% while new home sales dropped 2.3% month-over-month. Translation: the waters are still choppy. No clear trend-line has emerged giving investors or prospective homeowners a clear direction as to where the market is heading. I’d love to give you the rose-tinted approach to these numbers, but that would be disingenuous of me.
Amidst that choppiness, Moody’s ratings agency cut the ratings for debt issued by Citigroup, Bank of America and Wells Fargo, claiming that the U.S. is now more likely (due to political pressures) to allow a defunct bank to go under (as opposed to an AIG-style of taxpayer subsidized bailout). Good to know that major bank failure is still at the forefront of our minds. That worked out ever so well back in 2008.
Palestine has applied to the UN for independent statehood and recognition as a full member in the world body. I’m sure that will end well. Or with a nuclear holocaust. Either or.
Republicans have debated across pretty much every major network in a borderline comedic series of back-and-forths between Rick Perry and Mitt Romney. Meanwhile, a Florida straw poll showed Herman Cain (the only person who has never served in public office) winning the republican bid for president by a double-digit margin. Seriously Florida, didn’t we do enough damage during the Gore/Bush recount fiasco? We keep this crap up and the rest of the country is going to saw us off at the Georgia border and let us float over to Cuba.
Good riddance Q3
Warren Buffett says there won’t be another recession. So there won’t be another recession. Next topic.
Today is the last day in Q3, which was the worst quarter (in terms of equities) since the financial collapse. I imagine that to recoup these losses, we will start seeing holiday shopping ads before Halloween this year. Watch it happen. Santa Claus and the Dreidel Monster and Kwanzaa-bot will save us all.
Someone named Chris Christie is said to be considering entering the Republican presidential race. That would bring the total of candidates up to 74. Marky Mark had no comment.
Everyone is pissed about Bank of America charging a $5.00 monthly fee for debit card use. Regions just stuck me with a similar $4.00 fee. Is everyone else paying to use their own money? Just curious.